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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26674939">How Do You Know You're In Love?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writtenonmybody/pseuds/Writtenonmybody'>Writtenonmybody</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Force-Sensitive Leia Organa, Force-Sensitive Rey, Implied Relationships, M/M, Multi, POV Alternating, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, implied eventual Jessika Pava/Rey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 13:16:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,238</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26674939</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writtenonmybody/pseuds/Writtenonmybody</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn had never been allowed to feel or touch until now.  He's trying to figure out what he feels for everybody and has a lot of questions, especially about kissing.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Finn &amp; Rey (Star Wars), Finn &amp; Rose Tico, Jessika Pava/Rey, Poe Dameron &amp; Finn, Poe Dameron &amp; Finn &amp; Rey, Poe Dameron &amp; Jessika Pava &amp; Temmin "Snap" Wexley, Poe Dameron &amp; Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Shara Bey &amp; Kes Dameron &amp; Poe Dameron</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Do You Feel It In Your Toes?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is set between TLJ and TROS, with a dash of Resistance Reborn. Kudos and comments welcome of course...</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everyone who was still alive was on the Millennium Falcon flying through the Galaxy searching for a new base.  It was overwhelming that this was all that was left of the Resistance.  Nevertheless, Leia said they had all they needed to rebuild the Resistance, to rebuild the Jedi, to bring down the First Order for good.  </p><p>Even in their darkest moments they still believed in Leia.  They still believed in Poe too, even though he was questioning himself.  He was becoming a new kind of leader, something that he had never been before and that he didn’t know yet what it was.  Yet it was happening all the same.  </p><p>Rey was becoming something new as well.  Though admittedly her Jedi training was bizarre and truncated, it was still training done by Luke Skywalker.  Rey had a level of power not seen since Yoda.  Nevertheless, she was still struggling to believe in herself and to understand her place in all of this.  She was meditating constantly, reading the Jedi texts with the help of a historian friend of Chewie’s, and Leia had begun to train her.  Although Leia had chosen a non-Jedi path, she had been trained as a Jedi after the Rebels had overthrown the Empire.  Not to mention, she was still a Force-user.  Leia Organa was a Master, and here at the end of all things, the Force had brought Leia a Padawan. </p><p>Rey and Poe were developing a very complicated relationship.  They valued each other’s skill and power, and the core of deep love, kindness, and loyalty that was at the heart of each of them.  However, they always took the opposite opinion of one another; sometimes it seemed just on principle.  They bickered constantly, largely over Finn, though no one addressed this.<br/>
Rey was somewhat jealous as she could sense how Finn felt about Poe.  More than that though, Rey was protective.  She wasn’t sure Poe would protect Finn before all else, and she wanted nothing less for her first ever friend.  Poe was equally protective of Finn.  As far as he was concerned, Rey left Finn when he was on the edge of death.  Though Finn was unconcerned about this, Poe had not forgiven her.  Poe was very jealous, convinced as he was that Finn was in love with Rey.</p><p>Finn was becoming something new as well.  He had finally joined the Resistance.  He was all in, ready to fight and die, though he still didn’t quite know what his place in it was.  They were still a military of sorts, so the General had given him a rank.  Probably much higher than he would have gotten before, but they were so few now.  If there were any who had still held distrust for the former stormtrooper who had followed Poe into a mutiny, they put it aside.  Poe trusted him.  Leia trusted him.  And the Resistance needed him.</p><p>Finn was tending Rose almost obsessively, which was causing confusion in Poe.  Finn was supposed to be in love with Rey.  That was why Poe never said anything to Finn.  It was not because Poe had never felt this way and was terrified, Poe insisted to BB8 who should mind his own business.  Maybe Finn had moved on to Rose.  Poe was supposed to have moved on by now too.  Rose was still unconscious from the crash.  She was healing well, but it was taking far longer as they had no medical bay on the Falcon and only small supplies of Bacta.  Poe sat down next to Finn, so close their shoulders, arms, and hips touched in a way that Finn found so comforting.</p><p>“How’s she doing today?” Poe asked tenderly.</p><p>Unexpectedly Finn turned to Poe with a look of consternation and said, “How do you now when you’re in love?”</p><p>The ice of Hoth ran through Poe’s veins.  “Ummm, well, ah…”</p><p>“Are there different kinds of love?” Finn asked.</p><p>“Well, um, yeah – “ What was going on in Finn’s head?  Poe steeled himself against his urge to bolt.</p><p>“I can’t remember being torn from parents.  Maybe they gave me up.  Maybe I was never loved.  Maybe I was born in a kriffing incubator.” </p><p>Horror, anger, love plunged Poe’s blood back to the boiling heat of Jakku.  “Finn, you are loved – “</p><p>“They trained me to bury my feelings, feelings of any kind.  This is – “ Finn threw up his hands in a sweep that took up the entire ship, “confusing and overwhelming.”  </p><p>Poe was at a loss which was utterly unlike him, but Finn kept going before he had to answer.  </p><p>“The way I feel about you and Rey and Rose is all different.  But also the same.  But also really different.”  Finn emphasized really drawing it out longer than necessary.  </p><p>What the kriff does that mean? thought Poe.  He was rocketing between hope, despair, frustration, and desire.  He thought he was going to throw up.  </p><p>Then Finn said, “She kissed me.”</p><p>Poe actually did throw up then but swallowed it down.  Finn was too distressed to notice.</p><p>“Rey?” Poe choked out.</p><p>No,” Finn said sounding as if that were a ridiculous question.  “Rose.”  </p><p>Poe swallowed bile again.</p><p>“She said we don’t win by fighting what we hate, we win by saving what we love.”</p><p>Poe stood abruptly knocking Finn into Rose’s unconscious body.  Fast and defensive and hating himself for bailing, he said, “You should talk to Rey.  I have to go, you know, rebuild the Resistance.”  And he walked away without looking back.</p><p>Finn was flabbergasted calling with a pleading voice, “Poe, stay.”</p><p>But Poe didn’t hear him.  </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>Later when Finn was calmer, he went to find Rey.  She was down tinkering in the Falcon’s engine as she often was.  Whether the Millennium Falcon needed constant repair or whether she needed to repair it was up for debate.  A debate mostly between Rey and Poe, with the occasional roar from Chewie who always took Rey’s side, followed by beeping from BB8 who always tried to mediate.  BB8’s mediations, though largely ineffectual, were more successful than Finn’s attempts.  Poe and Rey completed ignored Finn, and he would end up rolling his eyes grumbling, “Every. Time.”</p><p>	“Hey Rey,” Finn called.  “Can I interrupt?”</p><p>	“Sure Finn.  What’s wrong?”</p><p>	Finn smiled.  Rey always knew.</p><p>	“How do you know when you’re in love?”</p><p>Rey considered his question intently and seriously, the way she considered everything.  Suddenly the terrible pull she felt toward Ben opened up inside her.  She couldn’t think of Ben as Kylo in those moments.  How could she?   When their souls met, when they touched across any distance, it was – she didn’t know what it was.  Rey was afraid, afraid of what it said about her.  Finn was waiting, watching her, patient and trusting with his open embracing eyes.  Finn was the first person to ever come back for her.  Han, Leia, Chewie, even Poe, flashed through her mind as she contemplated the question of love.</p><p>	“Honestly, Finn, I’ve no idea.” Rey sighed.  “I’m just a scavenger whose family abandoned her.”</p><p>	Finn took her hand carefully.  “Not anymore.  You’re a member of the Resistance.  You’re a Jedi.  You have family here.”  </p><p>Rey leaned her head on Finn’s shoulder filled with gratitude.</p><p>	“Rose kissed me,” Finn explained.  “She said she loved me.”</p><p>	“What was it like?” Rey asked curiously.  Unbidden Ben came to mind again.  She saw a flash of them in each other’s arms.  But on the side of the dark or the light?  She shivered it away and drew closer to the warmth of Finn.</p><p>	“Sort of – dryer than I thought it’d be.”</p><p>	Rey giggled.  “That doesn’t sound good.”</p><p>	“It wasn’t bad. It was nice.” </p><p>	“Do you think you’re in love with her?” Rey asked.</p><p>	“I don’t want her to die,” Finn answered.</p><p>	“I don’t think that’s the same thing.”</p><p>	“Honestly, Rey, I don’t know how to tell.”</p><p>	“You should talk to Master Leia,” Rey suggested.  Rey didn’t call her that to her face as she knew Master Leia would have shrugged it off telling her to call her Leia, the same way she did when people called her General.  Well, except of course, when she was dressing them down and giving them orders.  Her authority was unquestioned, feared and loved.  For Rey, she was all the guidance and compassion Rey had ever known.  She was her Master.</p><p>	“Why does everyone keep telling me to talk to someone else,” Finn said in irritation.</p><p>	“Who else did you talk to?”  Rey asked surprised.</p><p>	“Poe,” Finn said miserably.  </p><p>Rey felt the waves of Finn’s misery.  She thought about Poe’s argumentative moods, and  started to wonder.  But then again, she thought, what do I know?  So she just said, “I’m sorry Finn.”</p><p>Finn leaned his head on top of her head again.  They stayed that way taking quiet comfort in each other until BB8 rolled in beeping that the General needed to see them.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Finn definitely did not have the nerve to talk with General Organa.  She would have happily talked to him.  She was infinitely kind.  But Finn was still in awe of her and couldn’t come to her with something like this.  He was just going to have to work it out on his own.</p><p>Poe was even moodier than usual which led to lots of arguments with Rey.  Though weirdly they seemed to be spending more time together when Rey wasn’t off training with Leia.  Of course Rey being off training with Leia instead of joining their missions pissed Poe off more, which then lead to more arguments.  </p><p>Finn did not want Poe and Rey  to argue, but he had actually started to get jealous of them.  They had clearly become close and right at the same time that Poe was pushing him away.  Poe had stopped standing close or putting his arm around Finn.  He was not entirely avoiding Finn, but he was not seeking him out either.  </p><p>Happily for Finn, Poe couldn’t stay away.  It only lasted about a week before Poe gave up the distance. He went back to putting his arm around Finn’s shoulders, sitting close, staring intently into Finn’s eyes, bathing Finn with his brilliant we-can-do-anything smile.  Poe always chose Finn for missions.  Finn was happy, happier than he’d ever been in his whole life in fact.  Finn felt guilty about this as they were in the middle of a war and Rose still hadn’t awoken.  Still his whole life had been about war.  Yet this time he could make his own choices, have his own feelings, have friends.</p><p> </p><p>Then the day came when Rose awoke.  BB8 was there with her.  Though BB8 was an astromech droid whenever they weren’t on a mission, Poe sent BB8 to watch over Rose.  Even though it made Poe want to shoot something, if Finn loved Rose than Poe would do anything for her because he would do anything for Finn.  </p><p>Rose sat up quickly.  “Where’s Finn?”</p><p>BB8 beeped at her that Finn was fine and he would go get him.  Being a technician she understood binary.  She waited, stretching her body, and realizing she was on the Falcon.  She was stiff, hungry, and nervous.  The last thing she remembered was kissing Finn.  She wondered what she would say when Finn came, wondering what Finn would say to her.</p><p>Finn rounded the corner breathless, eyes shining.  “Rose, you’re awake!”  He hugged her enthusiastically.  “I told Poe!  I told Poe this would be the day you awoke!”</p><p>Rose’s face fell slightly.  Naturally the first thing Finn said after her waking up from a coma was about Poe.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Finn asked.  “Do you need to lay back down?  Do you need water?  Food?  Should – “</p><p>Rose stopped him with her hand on his.  “I’m fine Finn.”  Then shrewdly and with resignation she added.  “Except that you’re not in love with me.”</p><p>Finn’s jaw dropped open and he suddenly felt very hot.  “Do you want to talk about this later?  After all, you just woke up. You must be hungry…” Poe was always putting a later date on having conversations when things got awkward or intense and Finn now saw the wisdom in that.</p><p>“No, I don’t want to wait,” Rose insisted.  “I don’t want unsaid questions between us.  Are you in love with me?”</p><p>Finn slumped his head down, staring fixedly at the floor.  “Well, I’ve been trying to figure that out honestly.”  </p><p>Rose wasn’t sure how to take that. </p><p>“I was a stormtrooper,” he reminded her.</p><p>Then Rose pitied him.  Well, she pitied both of them really.  “When we kissed,” Finn flushed brightly as Rose said it out-loud, “did you feel it in your toes?”</p><p>“My toes?” Finn asked.</p><p>“Yes,” Rose nodded.  “Like a shot of Flameout rushing from your lips through your heart to your toes.  And then you want to do it again.”  </p><p>“My toes?” Finn repeated stupidly.</p><p>Without further ado Rose reached over and kissed Finn again.  This time she kissed him longer and more forcefully pushing against his succulent lips.  Pulling back she asked, “Well?”</p><p>“That was nice,” said Finn.</p><p>“But not a shot of Flameout.”</p><p>Finn didn’t respond.</p><p>“You’d do it again,” Rose guessed.  “But you don’t feel like you’ll never breathe again if you don’t kiss me.”</p><p>“That sounds uncomfortable.”   </p><p>Unbidden Finn’s body reminded him of the way his lungs constricted whenever Poe leaned in close and dropped his husky voice to whisper against his cheek sharing some secret or dirty joke.</p><p>Rose closed her eyes.  “It is uncomfortable.”  She was going to be uncomfortable for a long time.  She took a deep breath and clasped her hands.  “So!  Fill me in on what I missed.  Where are we?  What’s happened?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. What Does It Matter?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Poe was exhausted, alone in his room plucking at the strings of his Halliket.  They had been going on non-stop missions, planet to planet gathering allies, gathering ships, gathering new recruits and older fighters from the first war.  All while trying to avoid detection by the First Order.  They knew the First Order had a list of names, and Poe was on it.</p><p>Normally Poe liked to relax by tinkering with one of his ships.  Not the Falcon of course whom Chewie and Rey had sole tinkering rights to, much to Poe’s irritation.  He also liked to relax by gathering on the new base’s makeshift cantina, getting drunk, or playing sabaac with a friend.  Tonight though Poe was feeling emotionally bruised so he retreated to his own space to play music.  </p><p>Having his own space again was new; it had taken them a long time to find a planet for the new base.  He was glad not to be crammed together on the Falcon flying from planet to planet.  Now they were setting up on Ajan Kloss in the Cademimu sector of the Outer Rim.  It was a jungle planet like his home, and he had started thinking a lot about his mother in the moments he had downtime.  The Resistance equipment and meeting spaces was set up in large natural caves but most of the fighters were staying in the Tantine IV, Leia’s diplomatic ship from her youth as a princess.</p><p>Finn had never actually had his own space.  Poe groaned inwardly.  Always his mind returned to Finn.  Poe had decided that since he couldn’t just take off and put some distance between himself and the object of his unrequited desire, he would enjoy the closeness they had.  Mostly this was wonderful, except when he thought too much about the broadness of Finn’s shoulders, the memory of Finn’s naked body in the Bacta suit, his smoky smell, the sound of his robust laugh, the way one side of his mouth hitched up before the other, the way he shouted “Whoo-hoo! Yeah!” whenever anyone blew up anything, which always set Poe to pondering what he might be able to do to him to make Finn shout like that….</p><p>So obviously it was also torture.  Mostly this spurred on his bickering with Rey but she joined in whole-heartedly.  Rey and Poe’s friendship had deepened.  They were both intense, focused, and impetuous, and the arguing provided an energy release they both needed.  Poe suspected she knew how he felt about Finn but he didn’t want to ask.  Poe didn’t like to be that vulnerable.  He was so open and charming and supportive of everyone that largely people did not notice that he was always on the giving end in a way that kept his innermost-self separate.<br/>
Poe was playing songs his mother loved.  His father had given Poe her wedding ring when she died, and Poe had put it on a chain.  His father had told him to give it one day to someone he loved.  But Poe hadn’t ever allowed anyone that close and he’d certainly never committed to anything other than the Resistance and BB8.  He paused his playing to put the chain around his neck.      </p><p>BB8 rolled against Poe’s leg making sad worried tones.</p><p>“I’m alright Buddy.”  Poe rubbed BB’s head fondly.  </p><p>BB8 beeped more stridently.  Poe swore BB8 could read his mind, not just his vitals.  </p><p>“I know that Rey and Rose are just friends.”</p><p>BB8 whirred pushily.</p><p>“I did ask when I interrupted yet another intense private conversation between him and Rey.  Ironically, he ended the conversation saying he knew I wasn’t there to discuss his love life or lack thereof.”  </p><p>BB8 beeped yet more forcefully and his dome rotated a few times for emphasis.</p><p>“No, Finn wasn’t trying to give me a hint.  Finn doesn’t know how to hint.”</p><p>BB8 whooped a very long series of beep-boops.</p><p>“What does it matter if he has moved on from Rey and Rose when he’s just going to fall for someone else?  I just need to move on.”</p><p>BB8 leaned his dome against Poe’s leg with a sad trill.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Finn was in the fresher staring at his own reflection.  He was an entirely different person than he had been a year ago.  First of all, he was a person!  Having spent a lifetime in a helmet it gave him an illicit thrill to gaze in a mirror and see his own face.  “Finn,” he would say out loud with an even deeper thrill.  He had a name.</p><p>Of course whenever he thought about having a name Poe came to mind, and his gravelly daring voice.  “I’m not using it! FN?  I’m going to call you Finn.  That alright?”  Yes, it was alright.  Yes, it was more than alright.  Yes, it cleaved Finn’s world into two – the time when he was a number and the time when someone thought, someone insisted, that he was a person, a good man.</p><p>Truth was Finn’s world was cleaved every time Poe entered the room, the time without Poe and the time he wanted.  He wanted Poe in every room.  He was beginning to suspect he was in love with him.  Whenever Poe put his arm around Finn, Finn’s whole being relaxed.  Whenever Poe pulled away, Finn’s whole being flushed with hunger, and not for food.  It wasn’t so much his toes the way that Rose had described.  It was every part of him.  The part Rose had said about not being able to breathe fit exactly.  Finn hurt all over.  It was definitely uncomfortable.  Now whenever Poe bit his lip Finn imagined what it would feel like to press his lips against Poe’s, to caress them, to bite them.  He suspected it would not be dry.</p><p> </p><p>Snap and Jess, Poe’s top pilots, had told Finn that one could be sexually attracted without being in love.  They had not realized that this was clarifying information for Finn, or even that it was information they were sharing.  Whenever they were eating in the mess or drinking in the cantina, they were always teasing each other and telling stories, not only about themselves but also about Poe.  Finn loved hearing people’s stories as it helped him gain a better understanding of the world outside the First Order.  He especially loved hearing stories about Poe. Unfortunately, a distressingly large part of these stories involved all the different beings that Poe had been with.  Poe was, or at least had been, a flyboy in all senses of the word.  Apparently, Poe was considered both the best pilot in the Resistance, and the sexiest pilot in the Resistance.</p><p>“I think it’s his hair,” Snap said.</p><p>“It’s definitely not his personality,” Jess teased.</p><p>Jessika Pava was more perceptive than Snap Wexley.  She had tried to assure Finn, “Poe wasn’t in love with any of them though.”  </p><p>Finn blushed, which Snap missed but Jess caught.  What does it matter, Finn thought miserably, if Poe wasn’t in love with any of those beings when he isn’t in love with me either. </p><p> </p><p>Finn was finding his place in the Resistance.  He knew he had a lot to offer with all of his knowledge of the First Order.  He had learned every aspect during his training.  When he had been assigned to sanitation (as a punishment) he learned that people never noticed the beings that clean up after them.  Finn soaked up information at an astonishing speed.  On top of that he was an excellent shot and he even could hold his own with a lightsaber, something only Jedi were supposed to be able to do.  But still, what did he have to offer Poe?  Poe was Poe Dameron.  Finn didn’t even have a last name.</p><p>These were the self-deprecating thoughts that trapped Finn’s tongue in his mouth.  There had been one time when Finn almost kissed Poe.  They were dressing for an undercover mission where they had to go to a fancy gala.  Poe was tying Finn’s tie because Finn didn’t know how.  Poe was staring into his eyes in that way Poe had which made Finn feel pinned to the wall, soul laid bare.</p><p>Just as Finn leaned forward, Poe spun him towards the mirror so he could see the tie.  The tie was not what Finn wanted to see right then.  To top it all off, Finn had gone and brought up his childhood murmuring how he had never had a father to show him how to tie a tie.  Obviously, Poe was supportive and kind, sensitive and an incredible listener.  Poe squeezed Finn’s shoulder, and Finn could tell Poe wanted to take away each and every pain.  Nonetheless, the energy in the room had shifted from a very intense and possibly sexually charged one to a bittersweet tenderness.  And then they had to go complete their mission.  Finn wondered if he would ever get another moment life that.  And if he did how could he get himself to take it in time?</p><p>Maybe the time had already passed.  Maybe Finn was kidding himself in thinking Poe thought of him in any way other than – other than what?  Just ask Poe, Rey said.  Whenever Finn didn’t understand a social cue, or a Resistance code, or a cultural reference, he asked Poe.  This was not such a big difference.  </p><p>This idea carried Finn all the way to the outside of Poe’s room, before the terror of losing Poe entirely rooted him to the floor.</p><p>Unexpectedly a low honeyed voice singing a sad song about lost love drifted into the hallway.  Poe was singing.  His voice was warm like whisky and the tone made Finn ache.  Poe rarely sang in public but anyone who had the rare treat of hearing Poe sing felt every heartbreak they ever had opened wide.  </p><p>Kriffing Poe, thought Finn.  Kriffing Poe Dameron.  Of course he had a kriffing fuckable voice that made you want to rip your heart out and give it away.  Suddenly the music stopped and the door opened causing Finn to stumble backwards.    </p><p>“Finn!” Poe said with surprise.  “The General called you about the mission too?”</p><p>“Ummmm, yeah,” Finn fumbled. </p><p>With a knitted brow and a sideways glance, Poe asked, “How long have you been standing there?” </p><p>Long enough to wish you were singing about me, Finn thought, and then said, “Only just got here.”</p><p>Poe wondered if Finn was lying.  Either way he felt exposed and thus got gruff.  “Well, better hurry up if we’re going to grow the Resistance.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Something More</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>One day it occurred to Finn that perhaps the best way to figure out what he felt was through kissing.  After all, that was what clarified his feelings for Rose.  However, that had been in the middle of a very intense moment.  Finn wasn’t sure if that was a required part of the process, or if you could just kiss someone.  He was irritated because he knew he was approaching all this more like a stormtrooper.  Systematically and without emotion.  I don’t want to approach kissing as FN 2187, he groaned.  I want to approach kissing as Finn.</p>
<p>Rey was pretty much always in an intense mood these days.  Either she was training with Leia, piloting the Falcon with Chewie, arguing with Poe about the Resistance or the Falcon or BB8 or anything, or meditating trying to discern where she fit in the dark and light sides of the Force.  Finn knew deep down down she didn’t need his protection.  But she was his only friend.  Well, now there was Rose, and Chewie, and Poe of course.</p>
<p>Finn found Rey tinkering with the engine.  Excellent, he thought, a contemplative state of mind.  He sat down next to her and said, “Rose and I are just friends.”</p>
<p>Rey smiled and kept tinkering.  An image arose in her mind of herself kissing Kylo Ren, and she was so revolted with her mind she almost dropped her wrench atop her head to knock some sense into it.  But what if he were Ben, a part of her mind asked before she could shut it down.  </p>
<p>Finn plunged on, “Maybe you and I should kiss.”</p>
<p>Rey put down her wrench and stared at Finn.  “Why?”</p>
<p>“Rose is important to me.  But I care about you more.”  </p>
<p>Rey bathed Finn in the light of her radiant smile.  “I care about you more than anyone Finn.”  Which was true.  Then she picked up a screwdriver and went back to the engine.  “But I don’t want to kiss you.”  </p>
<p>“What if I just kissed you, unexpectedly without asking, like Rose did to me,” Finn asked.</p>
<p>“Then I’d yell at you like I did when you grabbed my hand on Jakku,” she pushed his shoulder playfully and they both laughed at the memory.  </p>
<p>“But we hugged on Starkiller, and on Crait, spontaneously, without discussion.“</p>
<p>“That was different.”  </p>
<p>“How am I supposed to tell?”</p>
<p>“Maybe you should ask Poe,” she said.</p>
<p>The visceral memory of that day on the tarmac, when he had seen Poe bite his bottom for the first time still holding on after they had embraced, made  Finn felt dizzy.  “No, that seems like a bad idea.”</p>
<p>“Maybe you should ask that other pilot,” Rey suggested.</p>
<p>“Which other pilot?”</p>
<p>“The one with the dark hair and the dark eyes.”</p>
<p>Finn ran through the pilots in his mind.  “Pava?”</p>
<p>Rey nodded.  “We’ve never really talked, but she seems like someone who would know about kissing.”</p>
<p>“Hmmm.”  Finn was noncommittal.</p>
<p>“Chewie or the other pilots will tease you,” Rey said practically.  “But Jessika wouldn’t.  And it’s probably not something the droids can help you with.”</p>
<p>“You sure you don’t want to just kiss me?  Once?”</p>
<p>“I’m sure.”  Finn sighed and squared up his shoulders.  “Fine.  I’ll ask a stranger,” he said dramatically emphasizing the last word.</p>
<p>“Now you sound like Poe.  Go investigate elsewhere.”  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Finn wandered the Falcon stalling, and finally headed out to the canteen over on Tantine.  Miraculously, Jess was there and blessedly alone.  Perhaps the Force was with him after all.</p>
<p>“Hi, I’m Finn.”</p>
<p>Jessica laughed.  “I know.”  She kept eating. </p>
<p>Finn was embarrassed.  “Rey suggested I talk to you.”</p>
<p>“Rey did?”  Jess stopped eating and stared at Finn.</p>
<p>“She thought you might know about kissing.”</p>
<p>Jess flushed red and spluttered.  “Wh-what?”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” Finn said.  He seemed to have unintentionally embarrassed her though he didn’t know why.  He didn’t like to talk about his life as a stormtrooper but he decided to go for honest exposure.  “I’ve lived for 23 years with a mask.  No touching except in combat training, and no expressing of emotions.”</p>
<p>Jess’ eyes softened with pity.  “What do you want to know?”</p>
<p>“How do you initiate a kiss?”  Force, he really sounded like a former stormtrooper, but there was no turning back now.  “And how do you know if it’s okay to kiss someone?”</p>
<p>Unfortunately Snap walked in on those very words.  “Finn!” Snap sat down across from him delightedly.  “Who do you want to kiss?”  </p>
<p>Jess elbowed Snap muttering, “Leave it alone.”</p>
<p>Finn knew this had been a terrible idea.</p>
<p>Unfortunately pilots always gave each other a hard time.  </p>
<p>“You can’t kiss her,” Snap threw his arm around Jess, "‘cuz she only likes girls.  And I have a wife who’d kick your ass so you can’t kiss me.” Snap teased.  “Poe’s the real expert.  You should ask Poe.” </p>
<p>And because that’s how the galaxy works, Poe walked in on Snap’s last sentence.</p>
<p>“Ask Poe what?”</p>
<p>Finn groaned inwardly; I have the worst luck in the galaxy.</p>
<p>“Shut up Snap,” Jess tried.  </p>
<p>But Snap went blithely on.  “Finn wants to know how you tell if you can kiss someone.”  </p>
<p>Finn had 23 years of pretending so he laughed like this was all a big joke.</p>
<p>Poe knew what Snap and Jess expected.  He did have a reputation after all.  Besides, Poe knew he was gorgeous.  He figured there wasn’t a body in the galaxy that wouldn’t respond to his sex appeal physically.  It’s what Poe would do if it were someone else.  Plus Finn wasn’t in love with him, so it didn’t matter. </p>
<p>Poe licked his bottom lip and moved closer to Finn.  He put his hands on the lapels of the jacket that had been his and pulled up the person he wanted to be his.  Finn was standing now and they were so close in height that their bodies were perfectly aligned.  It cut off Finn’s laugh which Poe was a little sad about because Poe loved the full-throated abandon of Finn’s laugh and the way Finn tipped back his head when he was really free.  But Finn’s intake of breath and widened eyes as Poe pulled Finn closer more than made up for it. </p>
<p>“Take a step, and feel the energy.”  </p>
<p>Poe balled his fists against Finn pressing their bodies together, leather to leather, heart to heart.  The way he could feel Finn’s heart beat faster was driving him mad.  Poe pouted, his lips now moving closer to Finn’s full and slighted parted lips.  Then he paused because even when he was dialing up the seduction, consent was everything to Poe.  So though he leaned in, Poe shifted his mouth almost scraping along Finn’s cheek to whisper in Finn’s ear, “When you know what you want, then you ask.”</p>
<p>Poe stepped back , smirking, and left the canteen without whatever he had come in there for.  He couldn’t actually remember now.  Poe heard Snap’s laughter behind him.  </p>
<p>Jess chastised, “You’re a nerfherder Snap.” </p>
<p>Poe’s whole body was filled with the eroticism of what he had just done, but he crashed quickly into misery.  I can’t do that anymore, he told himself angrily.  Not with Finn, not with anyone.  I want something more.</p>
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